I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
