yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
