If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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