just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Two words: nipple clamps
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