Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
So much Jack, so little girl.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
