how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
