We won't sleep together?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
