ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Enjoy the penises
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
