Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
