VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
