I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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