I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
