Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Randomize
