I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
