just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
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