Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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