Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
