Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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