thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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