Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
