I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
