I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
