Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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