ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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