i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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