theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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