how hairy? two words: wookie tits
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
