There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
