We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
