i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
