Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
