I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
