Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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