I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
