Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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