i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Actions speak louder than pants.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
