I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Ketchup is God's man juice
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
