i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Randomize
