And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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