I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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