Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
so that wasnt chicken after all
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
