You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
