just survived the first fart of the relationship.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
