dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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