Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
