i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
