Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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