At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Randomize
