I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
