Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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