STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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