Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
